"Happies"

Well...I don't really have any epiphony or interesting topic to write about at the moment. ( However, I have begun studying the book of Job and have already found some super awesome "nuggets" that I seem to have overlooked in the past..more on that to come later) Anyway, I have realized today that I have been focusing on the negative things in my life lately...in other terms I have been focusing on the cons of my current life situation (yeah, I am a pro/con list maker) and been stuck in a "woe is me" slump (which is so incredibly stupid!) Therefore, I have decided to list  a few things/situations/people that I have termed "happies" ( pretty sure I stole this term from my former roomie Leandra ( one of my happy ppl), but I don't think she would mind me using it ) Writing out this list is solely self-serving in order to help me get over my stupid slump and I realize it's probably my weirdest post yet ( or close to it)....Here goes ( btw this isn't an all inclusive list) : God's grace!, the back-up camera in my car, greek yogurt, that moment right before I completely go to sleep, unexpected bear hugs, when ppl randomly tell me they have been praying for me lately, when my pts call me "babydoll" "honey" "sweetheart" ( the sweet elderly pts that is), snow on tree limbs, when my friends randomly call/text/fb me ( or even better when they drive 5 hours to come see me), wrapping up in my soft "teddy bear" pjs, talking with the kids in my sunday school class and realizing they understand the lesson, listening to folk rock, not having to spend hours doing homework, singing at the top of my lungs in my car,  my dad rinsing off my car in cold weather because he knows I hate the salt residue, my mom taking me to see a movie mid-week to cheer me up....yep, the glass is half full again :)

I am weak but You are strong

"Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong"

Although it is  a song that even little children can understand..sometimes I forget that this is true. I forget I don't have to be anxious about tomorrow or carry my burdens alone. I forget how BIG God is and that he not only notices me, but KNOWS me. I serve a God that not only knows my flawed self, but He gave up His very life for me...and LOVES me. Lately, I have been so torn between only seeing the day each grueling moment at a time and living in a longing for the future ( something better than the present) that I have lost sight of what is truly important. I have been so busy trying to just get through the day that I forget that every moment I live, everything I do, should be done for the glory of God...that I should consciously make an effort to glorify God in my work, my relationships, in every facet of my life. My purpose in this life isn't just to get through the day and "do it all myself"..my purpose is to give it all to Him and seek to honor Him in the process of being completely sold out to the work of Christ. ( & yes I do believe that all the patient visits, time on the road, charting, documentation, monotony etc can be used to glorify God)

:)

Well here's the thing,I have quite a few things that I would like to write out and blog about but no time to do it. A "real" job takes up a lot of time! However, nursing school was much more stressful and time consuming so I am enjoying not having to study for hours every night. Anyway I just needed to write a quick blog because I am computer illterate and need to post a new link to facebook so I can get back to this site. Maybe I'll insert an inspirational quote so this won't be a complete waste of a blog post....

If there's anything necessary to your eternal happiness but God, you're not the kind of Christian that you ought to be. For only God is the true rest." A.W. Tozer

Hopefully, I will get a chance to write out some thoughts soon :)

Changing Seasons

I love it when seasons change. It is one of those things I like about living where I grew up and where I live now..distinct season changes. I'll admit Memphis never had much of a "white" winter, but we occasionally saw snow & all of the other seasons were definitely hallmarked by the tell-tale signs of spring, summer, and fall. September is the month that heralds in the glorious fall season. It is still a few weeks yet until the official first day of fall, but today could have fooled me. I get really excited when the weather starts to cool down and the air feels/smells crisp. I love all the rich colors of fall, the food (caramel apples!), the holidays, oh yeah and there's that little thing of my birthday ;).  I feel it is a "cushion" season...it prepares us with the cooler weather and the leaves falling from the trees for the cold weather and bare tree limbs of winter.  In a way, I see the season of life I am in now as a "cushion" season. I haven't found a job yet so I have been able to work on things that I haven't had the time or opportunity to do in a while, such as spending time with my family, cooking, baking, deep cleaning, writing, reading, soul searching....It is a blessing. However, with this season I am aware that a harder, colder season will follow it. That is just how life is. I have heard it described as a "roller coaster", but to me that just gives this worldly life too much credit, as if I am just on a ride with no control of where it goes or how I handle it. I am not so egotistical as to think I can control everything...but I do know the One who controls it and He gives me the peace and strength to hang on in whatever season I am in. For now, I will just enjoy the season of life at hand and prepare for the one that will follow. Thankfully, there is one thing that will NEVER change in any season & that is the security of the grace He gave to me.

Patience

Here's the thing, sometimes I get into these cooking/baking moods and nothing but an hour or two whipping up something in the kitchen can cure it.  I was in one of these moods yesterday. I was cleaning out the refrigerator when I noticed we had more buttermilk than we could use and some strawberries that needed to be eaten soon.  So of course I decided I need to bake a homeade buttermilk pound cake with sugared strawberries and icecream as topping.  I searched through my mom's plethora of scribbled recipe notes and found my Mamaw's recipe for buttermilk cake (one of my Dad's favorites).  I started getting everything ready to bake and got to it ( donned with my cute baking apron of course).  As I put the cake into the oven, I realized that I needed to cook a nice dinner to go with the cake ( I cook dinner every Monday night ( & some others) because Mom has her college class). I decided to opt for a Southern meal : fried chicken, country-fried steak, mashed potatoes, lima beans and of course sweet tea. (If your wondering why I cooked 2 meats instead of extra vegetables or bread, it's because both younger brothers are on football teams and they need the protein...plus they like meat a lot.) Anyway, before I start frying up everything I can get my hands on, I  wait for the cake to finish baking. I only have to wait 4 more minutes before the timer beeps..but of course I become inpatient. The top of it looked golden brown and it smelled amazing. I opened the oven door and decide to just move it around a little (because it looked like one side was getting browner than another).  Then when the timer beeps 3 minutes later (if only I had waited those 3 measly minutes!) I get the cake out and it immedietely falls....and looks ugly :(  It tasted great, but still looked bad. Anyway the reason why I am writing about what I cooked for dinner last night (besides the fact that I have no friends here to hang out with..and miss my TN friends so much it hurts) is that patience is something that God has been teaching me lately. The times in my life when I have waited..resting in God's hands and knowing He will provide, I have ended up receiving many unexpected blessings..and God (finally) gave me the answers I needed. There have also been times when I didn't wait patiently or wait for God to work and it ended in disaster ( much bigger disasters than a cake falling). I guess I write all this to say ( & remind myself) that there are some things (actually many things) in life that are worth the wait.

Psalm 40:1- "I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry."

Faith Like A Child

I love the way God chooses to encourage me. Many times he uses children to do this..which is one of the many reasons I love kids so much. This past week I have been helping my mom with her second grade class, and I have to say, these are some of the cutest kids ever. (Noone quite reaches the cuteness of my Gallaway kids, but these are close :) ) They were all so sweet and wanted to give me compliments and hugs. I think one little boy complimented me on my outfit about 6 times. Mom thinks he might have a little crush though..when I told him I was probably going to move back to TN to get a job he got really upset, but then quickly said he had been thinking about moving to TN soon too. lol. As I spend time around children I begin to understand what is meant by having "faith like a child." I love the scene in Matthew when the disciples ask Jesus "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" I am sure they were expecting to hear that it would be a mighty king or ruler or perhaps they were hoping he would say, "Why you all of course..you are MY disciples after all." However, this is how he responds, "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."- Matt 18:2-4.  I feel that Christ is telling the disciples that in order to be great, one must give up their adult " I can handle it or do it myself" attitude. Children are dependent upon others for their needs. Yes, I realize there are devasting situations in which some children are forced to fend for themselves, but most children are dependent upon their guardians for food, clothing, and love. They receive this care, not even giving a thought to trying to do it all themselves. Many times I feel that Christ uses trials in life to make us "unlearn" something, such as the belief that we can handle it all on our own. We "unlearn" so that we can get to that simple point...the point where we realize that we can do nothing without Christ.

Hot Tea at Sunrise

Having so much extra time on my hands right now has given me plenty of time to think and meditate on things that I have been harboring in my heart for quite a while. Some good and some not so good things. I have a lot on my mind right now, but I'm not really sure how to put them in words quite yet. (& to  be perfectly honest I don't think I would write about it on the internet...confide in a good friend yes, but writing it all out for just anyone to see, no way) However, mullling over some of these thoughts and memories reminds me of a song by Jill Phillips that I would (and still do) listen to when I am going through a hard time (or to help me go to sleep.) It reminds me that no matter what I might be going through or have been through that God will always be there and will never leave me or forsake me.

I AM by Jill Phillips

oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
the tide can change so fast, but I will stay
the same through past, the same in future, same today

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

oh weary, tired and worn, let out your sighs
and drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light
I know you through and through; there's no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

'cause I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest