:)

Well here's the thing,I have quite a few things that I would like to write out and blog about but no time to do it. A "real" job takes up a lot of time! However, nursing school was much more stressful and time consuming so I am enjoying not having to study for hours every night. Anyway I just needed to write a quick blog because I am computer illterate and need to post a new link to facebook so I can get back to this site. Maybe I'll insert an inspirational quote so this won't be a complete waste of a blog post....

If there's anything necessary to your eternal happiness but God, you're not the kind of Christian that you ought to be. For only God is the true rest." A.W. Tozer

Hopefully, I will get a chance to write out some thoughts soon :)

Changing Seasons

I love it when seasons change. It is one of those things I like about living where I grew up and where I live now..distinct season changes. I'll admit Memphis never had much of a "white" winter, but we occasionally saw snow & all of the other seasons were definitely hallmarked by the tell-tale signs of spring, summer, and fall. September is the month that heralds in the glorious fall season. It is still a few weeks yet until the official first day of fall, but today could have fooled me. I get really excited when the weather starts to cool down and the air feels/smells crisp. I love all the rich colors of fall, the food (caramel apples!), the holidays, oh yeah and there's that little thing of my birthday ;).  I feel it is a "cushion" season...it prepares us with the cooler weather and the leaves falling from the trees for the cold weather and bare tree limbs of winter.  In a way, I see the season of life I am in now as a "cushion" season. I haven't found a job yet so I have been able to work on things that I haven't had the time or opportunity to do in a while, such as spending time with my family, cooking, baking, deep cleaning, writing, reading, soul searching....It is a blessing. However, with this season I am aware that a harder, colder season will follow it. That is just how life is. I have heard it described as a "roller coaster", but to me that just gives this worldly life too much credit, as if I am just on a ride with no control of where it goes or how I handle it. I am not so egotistical as to think I can control everything...but I do know the One who controls it and He gives me the peace and strength to hang on in whatever season I am in. For now, I will just enjoy the season of life at hand and prepare for the one that will follow. Thankfully, there is one thing that will NEVER change in any season & that is the security of the grace He gave to me.

Patience

Here's the thing, sometimes I get into these cooking/baking moods and nothing but an hour or two whipping up something in the kitchen can cure it.  I was in one of these moods yesterday. I was cleaning out the refrigerator when I noticed we had more buttermilk than we could use and some strawberries that needed to be eaten soon.  So of course I decided I need to bake a homeade buttermilk pound cake with sugared strawberries and icecream as topping.  I searched through my mom's plethora of scribbled recipe notes and found my Mamaw's recipe for buttermilk cake (one of my Dad's favorites).  I started getting everything ready to bake and got to it ( donned with my cute baking apron of course).  As I put the cake into the oven, I realized that I needed to cook a nice dinner to go with the cake ( I cook dinner every Monday night ( & some others) because Mom has her college class). I decided to opt for a Southern meal : fried chicken, country-fried steak, mashed potatoes, lima beans and of course sweet tea. (If your wondering why I cooked 2 meats instead of extra vegetables or bread, it's because both younger brothers are on football teams and they need the protein...plus they like meat a lot.) Anyway, before I start frying up everything I can get my hands on, I  wait for the cake to finish baking. I only have to wait 4 more minutes before the timer beeps..but of course I become inpatient. The top of it looked golden brown and it smelled amazing. I opened the oven door and decide to just move it around a little (because it looked like one side was getting browner than another).  Then when the timer beeps 3 minutes later (if only I had waited those 3 measly minutes!) I get the cake out and it immedietely falls....and looks ugly :(  It tasted great, but still looked bad. Anyway the reason why I am writing about what I cooked for dinner last night (besides the fact that I have no friends here to hang out with..and miss my TN friends so much it hurts) is that patience is something that God has been teaching me lately. The times in my life when I have waited..resting in God's hands and knowing He will provide, I have ended up receiving many unexpected blessings..and God (finally) gave me the answers I needed. There have also been times when I didn't wait patiently or wait for God to work and it ended in disaster ( much bigger disasters than a cake falling). I guess I write all this to say ( & remind myself) that there are some things (actually many things) in life that are worth the wait.

Psalm 40:1- "I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry."

Faith Like A Child

I love the way God chooses to encourage me. Many times he uses children to do this..which is one of the many reasons I love kids so much. This past week I have been helping my mom with her second grade class, and I have to say, these are some of the cutest kids ever. (Noone quite reaches the cuteness of my Gallaway kids, but these are close :) ) They were all so sweet and wanted to give me compliments and hugs. I think one little boy complimented me on my outfit about 6 times. Mom thinks he might have a little crush though..when I told him I was probably going to move back to TN to get a job he got really upset, but then quickly said he had been thinking about moving to TN soon too. lol. As I spend time around children I begin to understand what is meant by having "faith like a child." I love the scene in Matthew when the disciples ask Jesus "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" I am sure they were expecting to hear that it would be a mighty king or ruler or perhaps they were hoping he would say, "Why you all of course..you are MY disciples after all." However, this is how he responds, "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."- Matt 18:2-4.  I feel that Christ is telling the disciples that in order to be great, one must give up their adult " I can handle it or do it myself" attitude. Children are dependent upon others for their needs. Yes, I realize there are devasting situations in which some children are forced to fend for themselves, but most children are dependent upon their guardians for food, clothing, and love. They receive this care, not even giving a thought to trying to do it all themselves. Many times I feel that Christ uses trials in life to make us "unlearn" something, such as the belief that we can handle it all on our own. We "unlearn" so that we can get to that simple point...the point where we realize that we can do nothing without Christ.

Hot Tea at Sunrise

Having so much extra time on my hands right now has given me plenty of time to think and meditate on things that I have been harboring in my heart for quite a while. Some good and some not so good things. I have a lot on my mind right now, but I'm not really sure how to put them in words quite yet. (& to  be perfectly honest I don't think I would write about it on the internet...confide in a good friend yes, but writing it all out for just anyone to see, no way) However, mullling over some of these thoughts and memories reminds me of a song by Jill Phillips that I would (and still do) listen to when I am going through a hard time (or to help me go to sleep.) It reminds me that no matter what I might be going through or have been through that God will always be there and will never leave me or forsake me.

I AM by Jill Phillips

oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
the tide can change so fast, but I will stay
the same through past, the same in future, same today

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

oh weary, tired and worn, let out your sighs
and drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light
I know you through and through; there's no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

'cause I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest

In-Between

Well..here I am again. Stuck in the in-between. Although I have to admit..sometimes the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what God has in store for me next is kind of exciting. Stressful yes, but exciting none the less. Through God's mercy I passed the NCLEX and am now an official nurse :) The Board of Kentucky has yet to send me my license number however (they don't give licensing cards, they just send an e-mail..which I think is a rip off ) I had to get some technicality stuff worked out and ended up getting to take a jurisprudence exam in place of 120 hours of clinical work, which is a huge relief. I am now in the process of filling out job applications (which is tedious to say the least). Thus, my in-betwee"ness", and the cause of not being able to answer people when they ask me what I am doing next or if I have a job.  I sometimes wish I had a t-shirt that said "In the in-between stage...I have no clue what comes next". Thankfully, God has led me out of many in-between stages in the past and I know He will be faithful to do the same again. (He usually opens the door at the last possible minute) I am just praying that I will use this in-between stage in the right way. I don't want to look back after I am in the next stage and think "Wow I can't believe I wasted that precious time by worrying about what comes next". Speaking of time I should probably get off this blog and get to bed...I'm taking the boys on a surprise trip tomorrow :)

Know Him

Well I have been rather busy this past week and a half which is why I have not posted here in a while. I went to Arkansas with a group from Gallaway Children's Ministry and now I am spending some time in Memphis with my best friend (& partner in crime) looking for apartments and seeing how many things we can mark off of our "Things to do before we die" list.  However, before I write a post about my escapades I want to get back to my "Something to Think About" post and the quote by Oswald Chambers.

" My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God."

This quote basically sums up what God has been teaching me this past year (actually probably longer than that). He has shown me through joyous occasions as well as difficult situations that to know Him is the most important thing I can do in this life. I was blessed to be a part of a women's discipleship group throughout college in which I met weekly with a group of three of the most Christ-like women I know. This past school year we went through the book "The Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Tozer (which I would strongly encourage anyone to read!). This book explored and elaborated on all of the traits of God and taught me how important it is to know God for who He is...powerful, omnipotent, omniscent, merciful, love ( I could go on and on)  My pursuit to seek God and cultivate a deeper understanding of who He is has dramatically changed my outlook on life. I have been a believer for 15 years, but I feel as though I am just now starting to be aware of all that God is. It is such a humbling and exciting experience. One of my favorite quotes from "The Knowledge of the Holy" is "What comes to your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you." I want to make sure that when I think about God I am thinking of the true God, the God of the Bible, the God who has covered my many sins with the precious blood of Christ, not a God that I have made up in my mind that meets my selfish desires and ambitions.